Tag Archives: overcoming fear

The 12 Month #NothingToLose Challenge- Week 3 (Read Time: 2 min.)

NTL Week 3This week’s challenge is this:

Get your financial house in order…

“It is essential that you keep solid accounts of everything and have maintained good records of business matters, taxes, permits and the like.” 

@RyanBlair, Nothing To Lose, Everything To Gain

Whether you’re at the start-up phase of your business or in Year 3, one of the key attributes that will help you stand apart in your business is your ability to create and maintain your financial systems.  Only the most successful entrepreneurs understand their accounting systems to a tee… and it’s time we challenged ourselves to step up our accounting/financial systems strategy.

That’s the challenge for this week.  Click below and listen to the Week 3 audio for more details…

–>CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE WEEK 3 CHALLENGE<– 

 

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#NothingtoLose Challenge: Week 1- Step Up to the Plate (Read Time: 4 min.)

NTL 2In the month of January, we are going to lift as we climb.  In other words, we have 3 objectives in January:

  1. Ingrain the #NothingtoLose approach into our lives (life and business- not separate, intertwined).
  2. Create a daily routine that reflects our commitment to MASSIVE Daily Action (MDAs).
  3. Take MASSIVE Daily Action (no excuses now so there won’t be regrets later).

During this week, here’s the challenge:

  1. If you haven’t read Nothing to Lose, Everything to Gain, read it.  If you have read the book, do 2 things: 1) Re-read Chapters 1-8, 2) If you didn’t write a review of the book on Amazon, do so by the end of the week (Remember: Life is about what we give, not what we get).
  2. Create space in your office/home/bedroom for a #NothingtoLose tracking board.  I’ve posted a pic of mine on Instagram (http://www.instagram.com/KassandraBibas).  This is going to be your hub for your goals, objectives, and results.  It needs to be located in a place where you can see it daily and use it as a brainstorming/results review hub.  See this board as your visual for reporting, on a weekly basis, to your shareholders and stakeholders (at this moment, that could easily be YOU.  But, remember, YOU are the CEO of your life and the essence of your brand.  Report to yourself as you would a board of directors).  If you had to stand before a board at the end of each week, what would you want to show them?  What would they be expecting to see?  How easily could you use this board to demonstrate your accomplishments and pitch your ideas?  That’s how your board should look.  The first thing I want you to put up on your board (preferably smack dab in the middle of the board- see my board pic on Instagram for an example) are the 10 steps to being successful that @RyanBlair writes about on page 30.  You’ve got the book so the 10 steps are there 🙂
  3. Perform a 2014 Goal audit.  There’s only one question you need to answer if you’re going to experience MASSIVE success in 2015: What’s it going to take?  However, you can’t answer that question fully unless you know how you did and where you went wrong in 2014.  Spend some time this week (buy a journal just for #NothingtoLose or use Evernote) reviewing your 2014 year in business.  If your business is brand new, look at your life goals and review 2014.  Spend 5 minutes identifying your top 3 successes for last year.  No more than 5 minutes.  Anyone who’s a frequent reader of my blog knows one thing about me: I firmly believe that failure is a much greater teacher than success.  We want success but getting AND keeping it requires that we get SUPER good at learning from failure.  Pat yourself on the back for 5 minutes and let’s move to the more important thing: evaluating your top 3 failures from 2014.  Use @RyanBlair’s post mortem approach (on pages 35 and 36 of the book-hardcover) to evaluate your top 3 failures.
  4. Use the comments section to create accountability & connect with others. Comment below and identify what 3 steps you’ll take by the end of this week (Sunday, January 11th by midnight in your time zone) to ensure that you take a #NothingtoLose approach in your business and do not repeat the failures of 2014.  Follow up your comment as soon as you’ve completed all three steps.  I’ll be doing the same.

There it is.  And, if you need some extra motivation, listen to the weekly #NothingtoLoseChallenge SoundCloud audio I’ve created for Week 1.

–>CLICK HERE TO LISTEN<–

 

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Afraid to Start Over? 6 AHAs to Help You Go Back to the Drawing Board Courageously… (Read Time: 5 min.)

FTF 2I despise starting over… A project, a blog post, a workout, a relationship, a career… To this date, I haven’t met anyone who absolutely LOVES the idea of scratching EVERYTHING they’ve worked on so far… to begin again.

Except for one small detail:

You never really “start over.”

I know… let’s go there…

Once upon a time, I started a film production company called “Clean Slate Films.”  I liked the idea of a clean slate, a releasing and washing away of the past, not allowing anything negative to linger, and starting again… from scratch.  However, the name of the prod. co. was a bit tongue and cheek.  At that point, I was young enough to “begin again” and old enough to know that there is no such thing as a “clean slate” (meaning erase everything that happened before, pretend like it never happened, and start your life over).  No, that rewind-in-time isn’t in existence yet…

What I did understand and what I’m starting to figure out as I get older is a new and VERY uncomfortable epiphany:

Unless you learn the lessons from the past, you are doomed to repeat them in the future.

Let me spin it in a more positive way:

Starting over allows you to begin again… this time, more wisely.

You get the benefit of all the experiences you had where things didn’t work.  You get the cost of having used up those hours, days, months and years gaining those experiences… But you also get a second chance to do things differently… and here’s where the fun comes in.

So often, we’re afraid to “wipe the slate clean” or “go back to the drawing board” because we’re pissed about all the lost time:

“I spent 10 years in that relationship!”

“I wasted five years of my life at that job!”

“I gave him/her the best years of my life!”

I could go on and on but you get my drift…

We’re stuck because, on the one hand, starting again means we lost time and, on the other hand, starting again means we didn’t do it “perfectly” the first time… Oy vey!  For us overachieving perfectionists, it’s a real WHAMMY to the ego!

But what happens when we look at this “starting over” idea differently?

Is it possible that going back to the drawing board has less to do with fear and more to do with courage?

Of course… it does!

So here are some AHA ways to get over the fear of wiping the slate clean, going back to the drawing board, and beginning again (this time more wisely):

AHA #1: You could’ve been there longer… Oh come on now… You feel me on this one, don’t you?  Yes, maybe you wasted 10 years of your life in that awful relationship but guess what?  You could’ve spent 30 years… Hmm… and lots of people do… #justsayin’

AHA #2: You needed to be where you were to learn the things you could ONLY learn from those people in those situations.  Ever feel abandoned?  Ever lose the respect or love of someone you always thought would be there?  Ever lose out on a job or a gig or a client because of some underhanded move by somebody else?  Totally sucks in the moment.  But here’s the thing: You were meant to be there, in that moment, experiencing that level of suckiness, not because you have bad luck or because life is a real jerk but because, in that experience, you had to learn some things about what matters… and what doesn’t.  Now… if you CHOOSE not to get the lesson in that experience, life will present you with another experience, opportunity and showdown to pass the final exam again but here’s the beauty of the school of life: you get to learn at your own pace.  My advice: learn the lesson THIS time around…

AHA #3: The thing you keep falling to is EXACTLY the thing you need to rise above.  I’m speaking to myself now… There have been experiences in my life where I have felt fear, doubt, and shame… and I have allowed those triplets to bring me to my knees to the point where I have bowed before my problems and surrendered before the battle ever started.  Here’s what I’m learning this time around: success has everything to do with the fight and NOTHING to do with insecurity.  In other words, if you keep coming across a certain battle of the mind and, every time, you quiver in fear before it and you allow it to conquer you, that battle will rage on until you find the strength necessary to rise above it.  Battered, beaten, and tossed aside, you are FAR STRONGER than any fear, doubt, or bout with guilt, shame, or blame you will ever experience in your life.  The moment you understand this, your fear will turn into courage for one reason and one reason only: you made it so…

AHA #4: You weren’t born to play it safe.  I was watching an episode of “The Affair” last night on Showtime (Google it- great writing, amazing cast, I can’t not watch it) and the couple (for whom the husband cheated on his “perfect” wife) were in therapy and the wife said, “I chose you because you were safe…”  That statement… can you imagine if your partner or spouse said that in a therapy session about you?  “I didn’t choose you for love, lust, passion, or the absolute belief that we are soul mates… I chose you because you were the safe choice…”  OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But, so often in life, we choose circumstances, people, situations, and professional endeavors for that exact reason.  We don’t follow our passion, our purpose or our joy.  We follow safety, somehow beleiving that “safe” will give us less trouble than anything else.  Let me help you out: LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We weren’t born to play it safe people.  It’s not in our DNA.  Our brains are programmed to run from dinosaurs and to slay tigers (PETA, please don’t call me- I’m talking pre-historic times here).  We were not built to live in little 2,000 square foot boxes, driving little cars, and enjoying the grass grow behind cute white fences.  Suburbia has us fooled people!  As they say in New York City, it’s a concrete jungle!  And we’re built for it so let’s stop acting like we’re not.

AHA #5: All the success you want is located in a place called “unchartered territory” and exploring unchartered territory requires that you release the old so you can embrace the new.  Excellence doesn’t come in increments.  It comes through exploration, investigation, and taking risks.  Those things don’t happen overnight but they also don’t happen within comfort zones.  You’ve got to be willing to throw out what’s not working and start again, even when you don’t know how.  It’s a risk you take but there’s no way to have space for something new if the old, stinky stuff are still in the building.  To make room, you have to let old things go.

AHA #6: You have to be willing to push yourself HARDER and for LONGER than anyone else is ever going to push you.  The only way you’ll completely accept that you don’t have limits is by pushing EVERY single one of them to the brink.  You don’t do that without hard work and perseverance.  It doesn’t happen on a stroll down the block or during a vacation.  I love meditation but part of the reason that meditation is so powerful is because it forces you to see your life, body, and mind in a way that defies your logic.  In essence, every time you meditate, you are transcending another limit.  But let’s not confuse zen with non-movement.  You need zen to transcend but you also need to keep it moving!

So what am I saying?

If you get the sense that it’s time to go back to the drawing board…

on a project, on a business, on a career, on a relationship (Yes, I said it…),

STOP PROCRASTINATING and start over!

This time more wisely…

Now, I’d love to hear from you.

What is one thing that you have a feeling you need to go back to the drawing board on?  

What step will you take this week to begin again? 

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The one fear that rips your dream to shreds EVERY single time… (Read Time: 5 min.)

self doubtThere’s this one fear… a small, quiet voice with a HUGE, resounding impact… and it’s not one of those fears that you can push away and say, “Thank you for sharing but I got this.”  Nope… This is a fear whose primary mission is to keep you small.  It works diligently, persistently and consistently, especially when you aren’t… It’s a fear that doesn’t improve with time and susceptibility to it won’t be conquered with age… and if you don’t know what it is, you’ll wake up one day only to discover that it’s stolen ten years of your life…

What’s the fear?

I call it the Forget Everything And Retract (FEAR) mental tape.  It’s a limiting belief, an inner critic bug and it’s implanted in each and every one of us… but only comes out when we’re on the verge of stepping out, breaking through, or crossing over.  Whenever we’re about to go after what we REALLY want, the thing we are called to do, the power we were born to step into, the soul purpose we were given before birth to fulfill, this one voice creeps up and asks a VERY scary question:

Who are YOU to do THAT?

Hmm… And, in a split second, we get lost in a sea of doubt:

  • Can I really do this?
  • Am I even qualified?
  • What if I don’t have what it takes?
  • What if people laugh at me?
  • What if nobody cares what I have to say?
  • There are so many other people doing this work.  Why will my take on it be any different?
  • Don’t I have to get more experience than this if I’m going to be taken seriously?
  • What’s going to happen when people figure out who I REALLY am?
  • What if I’m not enough?
  • What if I’ll never be enough?
  • What if I’m going for more than I can handle?
  • What if this entire thing blows up in my face and I fail?
  • Will “they” think I’m a fraud?
  • I don’t know if I can do this.  How am I going to convince other people I can?

And the list goes on and on… All that this FEAR tape had to do was ask you one question… and you’re entire journey to the other side of fear got jacked.

So what do you do when the Forget-Everything-And-Retract tape shows up in your life?  

How do you battle a fear that can more easily snowball you into defeat than it can catapult you into success?

You do 3 things:

1) Identify the mental tape that’s playing as the insidious, crippling, manipulative liar it is.  In other words, you might hear the fear but you don’t have to listen.  Instead, say to yourself, “I’ve met me… and I’ve met you.  You’re a lie and I’m the truth…”

2) Counter the lie with a set truth (or truths) that offer direct combat to the FEAR.  Grab three or four powerful statements (statements that when you say them, see them or hear them, you feel your entire body lift with power) and SAY THEM OUT LOUD at least 3-5 times.  Ever wonder why people memorize passages from the bible?  Or why, at AA, there’s a common statement that everyone says?  Or why, of all the lines in any Tom Cruise movie you’re ever going to see, two seem to stick out: “Show me the money!” and “You had me at hello…” and Tom Cruise didn’t even say those lines?  Words are powerful.  They create powerfully.   What you repeat to yourself becomes true for you.  If you don’t like the lies you’re hearing in your head, combat them with the words coming out of your mouth.  As Hafiz put it, “The words you speak become the house you live in.”

If you need a little help coming up with what I call POWER statements, here are a few of my own:

Power Statement 1:  (I use this one when things are going la vida loca in my life and I need to get back to center)

“The most important thing to remember during times of great change is to fix our eyes anew on the things that don’t change.  Eternal things become our compass during times of rapid transition, binding us emotionally to a steady and firm course.  They remind us that we, as children of God, are still at the center of divine purpose in the world.  They give us the strength to make positive changes, wisdom to endure negative changes, and the capacity to become people in whose presence the world moves toward healing.  Perhaps we’re alive during these fast-moving times in which, “the center does nto hold” in order to become the center that does.” – Marianne Williamson, The Gift of Change

Power Statement 2: (I use this one when I can feel myself playing small in the world but I know I need to feel the fear and play big anyway)

 “Your personal power is not something that is going to reveal itself at some later date.  Your power is a result of your decision to reveal it.  You are powerful in whatever moment you choose to be.” – Marianne Williamson, The Gift of Change

Power Statement 3: (I use this one when I experience a setback or “failure” and need a reminder that ALL experiences are spiritual lessons.  The question is, “Am I willing to learn that lesson THIS time around- or do I need to repeat the spiritual 6th grade one more time?)

“A Warrior of the Light knows that certain moments repeat themselves. He often finds himself faced by the same problems and situations, and seeing these difficult situations return, he grows depressed, thinking that he is incapable of making any progress in life. “I’ve been through all this before”, he says to his heart. “Yes, you have been through all this before”, replies his heart. “But you have never been beyond it.” Then the Warrior realizes that these repeated experiences have but one aim: to teach him what he does not want to learn.” – Paulo Coelho, Warrior of the The Light

3) Take the next step AFRAID.  Fear becomes courage through action.  The more you take steps afraid, the more you dare to go after what you want (even if the inner critic is whaling about how much you stand to lose), the less afraid you become and the less you listen to that lying voice.  Whatever the next step is (big or small- you already know what the next step is- and don’t chicken out and do something that kinda scares you but not really), take it right now, right here, today.  No postponements, delays, debates, or meta-analyses.  Just get it done…

At the end of the day, the Forget Everything And Retract mental tape is going to keep playing.  It’s up to you to tune your life to another station.

What is one thing you can do to override the fear that you aren’t enough to accomplish your dream?

When will you do that one thing?

Post in the comments section below and let me know your one fear-override technique and when (date) you’ll implement it (HINT: The best time to implement it is NOW).  Can’t wait to read your comments!

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