Dismissing a Dream Because You’re Too Afraid to Want It- How to Stop That (Read Time: 3 min.)

log cabinI watched an amazing movie last night: This is Where I Leave You.  I love any type of family drama so add to the fact that it’s about a family of estranged siblings holding Shiva for their recently deceased father (and the mom is played by Jane Fonda) and I’m sold.  I expected tears and laughter.

What I didn’t expect was to rediscover a long lost dream.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to have a big family.  When I was eight years old, I’d walk down the street and see a big log cabin (the only log cabin in a fairly urban Bridgeport, CT) and I would promise myself two things:

  1. One day I’m going to have a log cabin as a vacation home and
  2. I’m going to have 8 children.  Don’t ask me where I got the number 8 but that was the number.

Fast forward twenty+ years and the log cabin isn’t here yet (that cabin will be in Park City, Utah) and I have 3 of the 8 children… but the other 5 still elude me… and I’m one month away from 37.  In watching this movie and being reminded of my childhood dream, it dawned on me:

At some point, I gave up on the idea of having “that” big family.  

When I say “that”, I mean the kind of family where the kids are close.  Yes, they fight.  Even as adults, they beat each other up on the front lawn… but they have each other’s back.  At some point, after a messy divorce and an even messier custody battle, after a heartbreaking miscarriage and a continued bout with infertility, at some point, I said to my subconscious, “Maybe “that” family is never going to come… Maybe I’ll have 1 or 2 more but it’ll never be “that.”  Just buy the log cabin in Park City and give the other dream up.”

Watching “This is Where I Leave You” last night woke me up.  It reminded me that the fear of never having the dream is NEVER a good reason to abandon it.

And that’s my Christmas reminder to you:

Do not dismiss a dream because you’re too afraid to want it.

Want it until you have nothing left in you to want it any more.

Go after it with the full desire of your heart.

Be open as the form of the dream shifts and transforms.

But NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give up.  

It’s not over until its over… and you’re still breathing.

Fear need not be the reason you say goodbye to a dream that was put in you for a reason.

Hold onto the dream.  Let go of the timing.  Trust the process.  Go after it…

What happens next will be some grand, wild adventure.  Enjoy it but do not let go of it…

Happy holidays!

I’d love to hear from you!

What’s one dream you’ve give up on (that maybe you didn’t realize you’d given up on)?

What will you do to bring that dream back into

the forefront of your desire, your heart, and your actions?

you never know


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