It’s not about proving “them” wrong but about proving YOU right. How to get over the fear of insignificance… (Read Time: 3 min.)

debra wingerFor many, payback, vindication, and PUBLICLY overcoming obstacles is a HUGE motivator… That’s fantastic while the spotlight is on but how do you maintain that level of momentum when nobody else cares what you do (or don’t do)?

What happens when you suddenly realize that all the “theys” you were fighting to outwork, outdo, and outperform have been spending the same amount of time living, enjoying and loving their lives WITHOUT EVEN A SINGLE THOUGHT ABOUT YOU?

What do you do when you come to grips with the fact that you’ve been driving your life by the fear of being insignificant and not by the courage of being brave?

What do you do?

You wake up… and stop living your life for other people…

And you do that by coming to grips with 3 fear-to-fuel life rules:

  1. Do you, not anybody else… If a goal isn’t YOURS (i.e., if you don’t absolutely love it, desire it, crave it, dream about it, and feel incomplete until you’ve achieved it), don’t waste ONE SECOND pursuing it.  Any goal less than that really isn’t yours.  It’s either somebody else’s or some arbitrary standard you think “everybody” else is working on.
  2. Make facing your fear about PROVING YOURSELF RIGHT, not about proving “them” wrong.  Here’s the truth: “They” don’t care.  Drop their need for approval like it’s hot.
  3. Learn the lessons you aren’t willing to learn THE VERY NEXT TIME THAT LESSON APPEARS.  Do we REALLY have to repeat the Spiritual 6th grade 10 times?  I think not.  There is no sweeter revenge than absolute success (that means joy, happiness, peace, abundance, and love) but the longer it takes to get there, the less sweet it feels.  You’ll save yourself a lot of blood, sweat, and tears if you go into ALL situations open (meaning: ready to learn, willing to change, open to seeing things differently).  Hard-headed people take twice as long to live a life of purpose  than people who are good at the flex and the flow.  Jump in the flex and the flow category RIGHT NOW!

That’s all.  3 rules.  Get out of the people-please, “let me show you I’m better than you think I am” mentality and get fully focused on being all about YOU.  There’s more than enough room for everyone to shine.


I repeat: Your shine NEVER has to come at anybody else’s expense… and neither does “their’s…”





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